Dear Blank Please Blank

Dear time,
Why do you crawl when I'm at work but fly by when I'm having fun?

Sincerely, pick a consistent mode of transportation.

Dear world,
Asking who's the "man" and who's the "woman" in a gay relationship is like going to a Chinese restaurant and asking which chopstick is the fork.

Sincerely, annoyed.

Dear Microsoft Word,
I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out and you ask me if I want to save any changes to my twenty-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

Sincerely, too stressed for this.

Dear dentists,
What happened to Oral-A?

Sincerely, Oral-B toothbrush user.

Dear life,
When I muttered, "Could things get any worse?" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Sincerely, screwed over.

Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.

Sincerely, Unicorns

Dear street signs,
You should really put a comma in "slow children playing" signs.

Sincerely, confused drivers.

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